More evidence that we need a community in which to learn to be Christian. From Hauerwas:
“What so often makes us liars is not what we do, but the justifications we offer for what we do. Our justifications become the way we try to defeat the contingencies of our lives by telling ourselves consoling stories that suggest we have done as well as possible…Being Christian means that I must try to make sense of my life in the light of the gospel, and so I do not get to determine the truthfulness of my story. Rather, those who live according to the gospel will be the ones to determine where I have been truthful and where I have deceived myself,” (Hannah’s Child, 159).
Am I a Christian? I don’t know. Ask those around me.