I’m realizing more and more that growing up in a fairly fundamental evangelical faith tradition was a hinderance for me in terms of experiencing a true and beautiful faith. These last number of years have been quite an experience. I feel as if I’m a butterfly trying to break out of her restrictive cocoon. I have yet to really take flight but the cocoon has been irreversibly cracked to the point where I can now see the outside world, and it is beautiful. When you’re trapped in a cocoon that is your reality. All you can see is what is within the cocoon. This was my faith for a number of years. However, a few years ago this all started to change. I experienced doubt. I began to ask myself questions about faith. Far from driving me away from faith these questions only served to deepen my faith. For example, a few years back doubt started to play a role in my faith. Now, in fundamentalist evangelical circles doubt has no place. Doubt has no place because fundamentalist faith has God figured out. They *know* God because God has been fully revealed. Therefore, they can know God’s thoughts and how God might act in a particular situation and so on. There is no place for doubt then. However, on occasion when doubt does arise (or perhaps in a Christians conversation with an unbeliever) we have developed a robust apologetic. In fact, there are organizations directed towards the purpose of being able to *prove* the Christian faith on rational grounds. Therefore, the Christian faith becomes the most rational option. However, this is all for nought because it fails to take into account the beauty of doubt and the bigness of God.
Anyways, that is a little sample of the road I’ve been on over the last few years. In the new year I’m going to do some writing on this journey.